I'm going to do this, damnit.

We are going to try something different this year with posts - since I obviously suck at regular posts. I'm giving myself a new project with this year. It's going to be a year of pictures; I'll find something interesting or what's happening and post... and why it's relevant, important, perfect, etc., to me.

I know, I know. I already failed at daily posts and the new year just began. But we're going retro on those and hopefully it won't happen as often.

But I figured this will help me in some way. Maybe even give me a more online presence or help me see things with a fresh eye.

Something needs to change. So let's begin, shall we?


Day 1
I've been a busy little B for awhile now. Been crocheting more and working on going advanced, but there's still much to learn. Anyways, i learned how to do these hoods on my own - read the pattern and did it completely on my own :) Quite proud of myself. Anyways, yes, indeedy, this Eski is getting crafty.


Day 2
I was terribly sick after NYE. Rosy cheeks and stuff animals galore! And wait a sec! Is that a Slytherin jersey??


Day 3
I glow! Danke schoen, Kyle.


Day 4
Every handsome devil must have angels on his cuffs. Don't you think? Rebellious angels, that is.


Day 5
My Xmas gift arrived a little late... but it was from China. :) Hello, my new friend.


Day 6
I should be out with friends. But it's a Friday and I'm utterly exhausted from both my jobs. So here's to a night of sitting on the couch, watching Being Human, and crocheting in tube socks along with legwarmers. A girl has to still her some sort of fashion in. And 'ello there Bracelet of Doom!

PS: Along with a pic a day, you may see some haikus from time to time. I can't give those up.

Looking Back

Recall with a smile.
Would I go to Mexico?
Almost feel the touch.

Trying to turn frustration into chill.

looks turn to whispers
serious cirri halo
be calm as the blue

Well. I'm still here.

I was not "raptured" - but that's ok. I spent my time hanging out in Sin City while those delusional peeps *ascended* to a higher level of madness. I did keep checking our suite's windows to see if anyone was floating, but nada. I guess you can't expect many to be saved in Las Vegas. But there was always that chance that one might ;)

Anyways, the Rammstein show was more than I was hoping for! It was fire show after fire show... plus the two encores were exceptional. I'm very glad they played more from their third album than others - my favorite album of theirs! We got to see laser-eyed baby dolls explode, Till riding a huge dick that sprayed foam from the head, 6 feet wings on fire, and a stuntman lit on fire. The venue, Thomas and Mack Center, was smaller than I expected but the sound was pretty fantastic; in fact, I'd say it was much better than most of the venues here in SLC. And I was very surprised to see so many peeps from SLC/Utah travelled for the show. It was definitely worth the trip down there and I can say I finally got to see Rammstein on one of their few American tours. Heh, I even got goosebumps during the show! And despite how much my feet protested, I believe I stood up for more than 95% of the time.

One thing that struck me, the different pronunciations of German words I heard. The guy next to me... I don't think he really knew how to say mich (me) and when Rammstein was playing Du Hasst Mich, I couldn't help but laugh in my head. Heh, I can't say I knew everything there though, I had to look up the translation for "Manche Folgen."

I think I need to start taking German classes again. I honestly think it's slipping from my head and I don't get to practice it as much anymore. My German/Swiss friends email/post all in English now and I can only imagine how lazy my pronunciation is. Maybe when I take that class at the beginning of the year, I can add a German language class and buff up my skills. I tried to teach Ryan to say awesome, but... I didn't realize what a complicated word that is.

Now I must apologize; I did not take any pictures of the show itself. I was afraid to take my camera into the venue so I left it out in the car. However, if there is any footage on youtube or anything like that, I highly recommend you to watch it. The show was very entertaining and a lot happened. I just wish I had documented it better for memory's sake. And if you are a pyro, I hope you are able to catch one of their shows before they're done.

I am surprised they did not sing their Amerika song. Then again, I guess it does not really go with the Liebe ist fuer Alle Da motto.

Zusammenfassend, ich bin ein begluekt Eski!

!!!

ever smiling plastic
rolling heads look straight forward
i stare at blank eyes

:\

soft whispers escape
smiling cheeks quickly flush pink
unanswered questions.

Well, what do you say?

I recently had a long lengthy conversation with one of my friends in NY. I haven't spoken to this friend for awhile, to save myself the drama and the annoyances of this friend's argument against another close friend. It was probably a good move, because I was able to speak with my friend, Jun, without having to go through that awkward stage of figuring out what relationship we have. We're still the same kids that started college together.

Anyways, I always hate this part of the conversation with anyone you haven't spoken to for awhile: So what are you doing with yourself? I know it's a simple question. I know it's not meant to place me on guard. It's not meant to make me uncomfortable or having to explain myself of the choices I made. But I feel I have to. Especially, when the following question after that initial question is: Are you back in school?

It's a little embarrassing when so many peeps had these fantastic dreams of what I'd become or what I'd do. I think I've disappointed many by not going to grad school in English or attending some prestigious law school. I know I could do it. I know I could ace all my classes. But my heart is not into it. It feels like I'd have to push myself always to finish.

I don't feel at all bad that I did live up to other's dreams. I just feel those two things are not meant for me. I want something that's a bit more creative and not as stoic or soul-eating.

I just haven't figured what I'd rather get into. I have a inklings to go into fashion or the fashion construction industry. I really ought to take a class in that and test out the waters. Maybe I should do that come fall or begining of next year? I'll definitely look into this. I hate the money part though. Grr...

Well, anyways, I did relay this information to my friend, Jun. He seemed taken back, as others have been, but I think he understand I would not be happy had I gone into any of those two areas. He remains as supportive as ever.

Thank you, friends, for remaining supportive and trying not to judge.